Female CEO
I am so in love with the female CEO.
My checks come on time and I saw the livestream of her speaking
at the Wesleyan graduation ceremony about perseverance and I wept.
The female CEO reminds me of the statues erected of the female CEO.
And I saw her once in the break room, dunking a tea bag in lukewarm water,
so I held the mug in my hands and it boiled in seconds from the love in my heart.
My colleagues ask me to unionize but I love the female CEO.
Last night after work she knocked on my car window holding a small
limestone horse statue and said This is for you.
Obviously I didn’t understand the gesture, but when I tried to speak, I kept neighing.
I have started drawing the female CEO’s face on my arm with a needle and my therapist
says this is a “negative externalized expression of [my] OCD.”
Please don’t tell the CEO about my OCD because I am responsible
for all of the nuclear weapons stored in shopping malls throughout America.
There are only four but that’s still a lot for shopping malls.
Ultimately it’s impossible to love someone if they aren’t making you.
At my performance review today the female CEO said I had an outstanding year.
Tomorrow I am going to tell her about the world.
